


carmine farewells, azure wings

by fullsunxflower



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dimension Travel, Extended Metaphors, Fate & Destiny, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Language of Flowers, M/M, Nakamoto Yuta-centric, Supernatural Elements, Time Loop, Tragic Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:27:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27823000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullsunxflower/pseuds/fullsunxflower
Summary: Jaehyun was calledthe Black Pearl of the Northin certain regions of his country, and Yuta knew the reason behind that title. Standing next in the line for the throne, the prince was often perceived as a calm and intelligent, yet somehow melancholic, almost downhearted young man. He wasn’t interested in making public appearances on feasts or spending time with the aristocracy of the same age,but he agreed for one short dance when Yuta asked him for it.It was the exact moment when the butterflies were born – Yuta could feel their fragile wings fluttering bashfully inside his mind and soul. He saw similar ones in Jaehyun’s dark eyes,and dear Lord, what a precious gift they were to a lonely man like him.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34
Collections: Sakura Mochi - a yujae centered ficfest





	carmine farewells, azure wings

**Author's Note:**

> >>> **prompt #78**
> 
> _yuta is a time traveler who travels through time and space in order to find the one reality where he doesn't lose jaehyun._
> 
> >>> **trigger warning:** **violence** and **mentions of death** make a visible appearance here and there in the fic – it's not close to gore **but still plays a significant role** in the whole story. **please don't read it if you're sensitive to this kind of content!**
> 
> >>> **author's note:** i'm honestly exhausted and disappointed at whatever i have written here but, after working on it for the past three months, i just couldn't prevent myself from submitting this fic anyway. so yeah, enjoy the ride, i guess; also, **huge thanks** to the admins of the fest! i’m truly grateful for their patience and all the extensions i got due to their kindness; ♥

The night is cold, as it is supposed to be in the middle of winter. Snowflakes can’t seem to stop falling from the dark sky, covering the local landscape in nothing but a white eiderdown, the drifts growing so huge it’s hard to place your feet safely on the frozen ground. Right here, somewhere between the bleak songs played by the windstorm, there is a castle full of the aristocracy. Wealthy people discuss business matters, the bard sings about heroes and monsters, and the king laughs at the jokes told him by gentlefolk. It’s fairly warm here, with a fire burning happily alongside candles situated in golden chandeliers. The tables are full of food that would be more than enough to feed the whole village – it’s going to be dumped after the feast is over because nobody cares about poverty. People are going to die out of misery, and yet not a single nobleman will feel sorry for them. Instead, they will throw another ball, another banquet, another occasion to have blood on their hands. It has always been like this.

Tonight, the crown prince seems to be less talkative than usual. His eyes have gone miserable recently, almost as if he was bereaved in sorrow. But why? The courtiers have been trying to find the answer for weeks now. Their precious jewel, their future king is visibly distressed, so what are they supposed to do? Jaehyun has never been like this before, sitting still like a statue, not even touching his wine nor the food. His body is here, and where is his soul? Nobody knows that, including the king and the queen.

“Son”, the strapping man speaks in a low voice. “Why don’t you join your peers and enjoy the view? Our servants did their best in inviting the most talented dancers in the kingdom. According to the rumors, some of them even have exotic ancestry.”

“I’m not interested in treating them as my personal toys”, the response comes with a slight change in the prince’s expression.

He’s disgusted with the culture surrounding him, and that’s a thing he caught up straight from his mother’s monologues. She had raised him in a way that sees all human beings as equal, regardless of their gender, ethnicity, or role in society. The main advantage of this world view is, of course, being a wise king in the future, but it is also crowded with many flaws. He can change himself and himself only, with no influence on people who are already rotten from the inside. And that’s why his reign will drip his own blood and tears.

The king doesn’t respond to Jaehyun’s words. He furrows his eyebrows but stays calm, only to reach for the wine glass a few seconds later. They had learned how to avoid family disputes over the years, and they still do it through silence.

On the opposite side of the ballroom, a pair of black eyes observes them with the biggest focus. Its owner looks quite unique with his white hair and odd array – he told the guests that his mother was an elf, and they believed him out of pure ignorance. He was, as the gossip said, a mage who provided support for the court medic, although nobody has seen him ever before. And that is the thing about higher echelons. They simply don’t care about the truth, seeing only the tips of their own noses. They’re good for as long as the society recognizes their positions in the dominance hierarchy. Yuta secretly pities these men because, after all, only the hell is waiting for them. They have no loving wives, no joyful children, and no real friends. _Truly, how pathetic of them to live like this._

“Let’s have another round! The night is long, and the wine has to flow through our veins!”, the man on his left raises his mug, and the others cheer for him loudly. But not Yuta. His thoughts are still directed at Jaehyun. He wants to touch him, wants to kiss those worries off his wistful face, and then sing him to sleep, just the same as he did a thousand times before.

As he tries to plan whatever he’s going to do, something unexpected happens. The time seems to freeze for a second when the mage spots it with his breath stuck in his lungs. Tonight is the first time since forever when Jaehyun makes eye contact with Yuta. It’s so real it physically hurts, a familiar gaze burning holes in his stomach, nearly hitting the spot where butterflies had lived decades ago. It brings back memories buried deep in Yuta’s mind, things he never managed to say out loud.

They stay like this for a while, the prince being visibly intrigued with a new person taking part in the royal feast. Yuta is sure he doesn’t recognize him, he never did and won’t do it now, because that’s how traveling through time and space works. “ _Regardless of where your soul can reach, nobody will know you there”,_ the words echo in his head. He’s an intruder in the world that doesn’t belong to him, and yet, he still hopes to change it in the span of just one night.

The resounding rumble breaks through the debauchery and laughs. Yuta’s heart skips a beat, and butterflies vanish painfully because it’s all beginning once again. There are exactly four hours before dawn, four hours left until the castle will be occupied by hostile raiders. It happened so many times before that Yuta can almost recite the course of events from his memory. The sight of slaughter is inked under his skin. He sees the insurgent subjects murdering their king, sees the servants trying to protect the queen, and finally, Jaehyun standing somewhere among them with no weapon, depending only on his bare hands. It’s a vicious massacre that the aristocracy has brought on themselves.

But Jaehyun? He did nothing. Similar to the queen or the servants, he only did what he was told, existing in the palace despite despising his own life. He’s different from the rotten souls, he would be a great king If they only gave him a chance, Yuta is sure of that. However, he can’t change the whole history – he tried to do that too many times in this life. No matter what time period he picks, the lords are ruthless, and the king ignores his people crying for help. They both have an entire ocean of blood on their hands, so there’s no turning back from the obvious revolution. Yuta acknowledges that right after hearing the rumble. _Tonight, he won’t make any mistakes._

He stands up and rushes towards the royal family, using his magic to push the guards aside. Single screams are running through the hall, people shouting the word “ _witch_ ” with panic, but Yuta doesn’t try to stop them, because just when he’s only a few steps from reaching Jaehyun, the entrance door opens due to a use of force. Their nightmare begins once again.

“Come with me”, he outshouts the noise, offering his hand to the prince. “They will spare your mother but not you, come with me if you wish to stay alive. Hurry up before they see us!”

To his own surprise, Jaehyun nods and stands up, ready to escape. They weave between the chaos, avoiding the redness reaching their postures. Yuta supports their run with his powers, incapacitating the rioters who stand on their way to the secret exit. He doesn’t kill or hurt anyone but only dumbfounds them, knowing they wouldn’t attack him if they knew the truth. The problem is, they don’t want to listen, and right now, Yuta is running out of time to explain it all to them. So he chooses the most neutral option of getting past their crowd.

After a minute or two, he reaches out to the candleholder in the back of the hall, causing it to flip upside down. The hidden gate opens right in front of them – Jaehyun goes in first, with Yuta right beside him. They have to move on their fours, and before they’re at the end of the tunnel, they already hear furious shouts. “ _Prince Jaehyun has escaped!_ ”, some men scream. “ _That filthy mage helped him!”_

The narrow part of the pathway ends, and they stand on their feet once again. Jaehyun breaths heavily, visibly trying to spit any kind of words out of his mouth, but Yuta silences him by the gesture of his hand. The next moment, the wizard focuses on his magic abilities, ignoring the pain flowing through his body. Some rocks move from their previous places and go straight into the tunnel, and then, they suddenly explode, causing the ceiling to collapse with a loud crash. Yuta knows that rioters won’t be able to remove the stones, and that’s why he and Jaehyun are safe. _At least for now._

“Listen… I know you must be in huge shock”, he begins, finally locking his eyes with the prince. “And it’s alright if you’re scared, we can stay here for a while and I will explain you everything I can, just… Just trust me. Please, Jaehyun, I’m begging you, I-“

He doesn’t finish the sentence, being cut off by an unexpected feeling in his chest. Before he can prevent the world from falling, Jaehyun’s lips connect with his own, causing tears to form in the corners of Yuta’s eyes. The kiss is forcing its way through every single layer of his soul. Right now, time doesn’t exist, other universes don’t exist. They’re so close to each other that Yuta almost forgets about his mission. Butterflies try to fly with their broken wings because Jaehyun is here. He’s safe and sound in Yuta’s arms, after all they’ve been through.

“I know”, Jaehyun breathes out when they stop. “I know who you are and why are you here, and I have known it for the last year or even longer than that.” He places his hand on Yuta’s cheek, wiping off some tears that escape the mage’s eyes uncontrolled. “I have this sign since my birth”, he undoes the few buttons of his white shirt, pointing his finger at the mark right under his right collarbone.

It’s a single camellia, Yuta recognizes it right away. He has the same symbol under the place where his heart is supposed to be. In the language of flowers, camellia represents several things, alongside a specific phrase. “ _My fate is in your hands_ ”, it whispers. They both have listened to its quiet prayers.

“Growing up, I have always seen things nobody else believed in”, Jaehyun continues with shaking voice. “Like visions of the future that certainly wasn’t mine. I was observing myself in different palaces and with different people, and then I… slowly started to understand. These weren’t dreams nor predictions. They were just… Other realms.”

Yuta tries hard not to break into a sob. He knew it, he knew that he couldn’t possibly be the only person with this gift. After losing Jaehyun so many times, after breaking all of his bones and then being brought back to life, he didn’t have much hope to spare, but it was still buried deep in his heart, protecting him from the outside world. Their story wasn’t supposed to end that dreadful evening, with Jaehyun’s limp body in Yuta’s arms and hundreds of men falling dead by the bloodlust of their people. _It was never written this way in the stars._

“And I saw you so many times before”, Jaehyun continues, a sad smile spreading across his lips. “How you were trying to protect me even though I lost my life in your own reality, how you were always looking out for my mother, and how you were despising the court life. I didn’t have a chance to get to know you in my world, but God knows I wished I could.” His voice cracks a little. “I would do anything to make it up to you and to let your wounds heal after such a huge loss. I’m so sorry.”

Words are not enough for Yuta to release him from all his traumas and struggles, although he’s still glad to hear them. It’s like discovering the first peak of light when you’re starting to lose your sight in the darkness. He has been wandering in the gloom for what felt like an eternity. And it all started with a story straight from fairytales, a romance so sweet it was nearly ethereal. Many, many worlds ago, buried in the forgotten times of history, two people have fallen in love. It was as simple as that.

Yuta was twenty-one when he has first met Jaehyun. As an only child of the king’s closest friend who was also a merited general, he has spent most of his teen years training swordfight, archery, horse riding, and close combat, only to leave his home once he has become an adult. He was never interested in joining the army or becoming a guardsman. Inside, he was longing for something more, and he found it in the independence of living your life in compliance with yourself.

The world turned out to be dangerous and far more beautiful than he has ever imagined. It gave him scars and expanded horizons, songs about glory and failures, new connections, and burned bridges. Every single one of his actions had its own unique reaction pulled out from the center of the universe, so he eventually learned how to respect its sacred laws. And then, after coming to help dozens of defenseless souls, the king’s wary eyes had finally laid on him. Yuta ended up being invited to the ball of the summer solstice, the same occasion his father was always trying to avoid through every excuse possible. Of course, he showed up despite his caretaker’s warnings – it would be an ultimate lack of respect to reject the monarchy’s personal request. On top of that, Yuta didn’t regret accepting the invitation because that’s how he found Jaehyun, the bored crown prince with miserable eyes.

He was called the Black Pearl of the North in certain regions of his country, and Yuta knew the reason behind that title. Standing next in the line for the throne, Jaehyun was often perceived as a calm and intelligent, yet somehow melancholic, almost downhearted young man. He used to wear mainly black arrays without any ornaments. He didn’t like making public appearances on feats or balls. He wasn’t interested in spending time with the aristocracy of the same age. But he agreed for one short dance when Yuta asked him for it, causing the guests to gasp silently at their moving silhouettes.

It was unexpected in every single aspect of it, up to the point when the king himself looked quite surprised at the sight of his son talking and laughing in the presence of a complete stranger. They danced into the night, surrounded by charming whispers of the stars. It was the exact moment when the azure butterflies were born – Yuta could feel their fragile wings fluttering bashfully inside his mind and soul. He saw similar ones in Jaehyun’s dark eyes, and dear Lord, what a precious gift they were to a lonely man like him.

They fell in love slowly, months after the ball. Whatever was hidden in Yuta’s stories collected around the outside world, it cured the sadness of the young prince, and in return, he did his best to become a safe refuge for his dear light. They found comfort in each other in such a natural manner, as if fate had set them this way eternities ago. Yuta stayed in the palace and won his rights to ask for Jaehyun’s hand. The king and the queen agreed for their marriage; they had everything they ever wanted, and yet, it wasn’t enough to protect them from the tragic ending.

“It was the night before our wedding”, Yuta says in a distraught tone. They decided to stay in the tunnel for a while since their chances to escape will increase only with the right amount of composure. They sit on the ground, leaning back against the stone wall, their hands connected as one. It’s soothing, even if they can still hear distant screams from the ballroom. “Our kingdom had the tradition of throwing a feast that was twelve hours ahead of the official marriage ceremony. Shortly after midnight, everyone gathered in the main hall. It was a joyful evening at first, but… Four hours before dawn, the rebellion began.”

He remembers all of it as he tells the story of broken people who were tired of their king’s unfair reigns. He talks about problems with social hierarchy and general poverty, and he regrets once again his ignorant behavior. “I could have prevented that.” There’s bitterness on Yuta’s tongue as he speaks. “I’ve traveled across the kingdom, and, for Lord’s sake, I’ve even helped these men when they begged me for mercy. I knew exactly what were their demands and struggles. And yet… I couldn’t find the strength to raise my voice in front of the king. Not even once, Jaehyun. I have sentenced us to death because-”

“No”, Jaehyun cuts him off. “You haven’t.” There’s a mark of firmness in his comportment, although he’s still gentle with his gestures, bringing Yuta’s hand closer to his lips and then placing a soft kiss on it. “My father was a fool, just like many rulers before him. If his selfishness in your world was similar to the one he represents in mine, he wouldn’t have listened to you whatsoever, my love.”

“But I could have protected you better. I’m sure I could.”

They talk for a good hour, being stuck a few meters under the castle. Jaehyun takes advantage of convincing his partner that he truly couldn’t protect him any better than what he was already doing. He remembers visions of Yuta’s countless deaths whenever he has failed in close combat, surrounded by dozens of enemies ready to tear his skin apart. And yet, no matter what has happened to him, he would always stand up until his legs were completely smashed. Jaehyun had too many nightmares containing Yuta’s head being cut off by the large hatchet or a sword. He was ruined from the inside, and yet, he has never given up on saving his precious beloved. That’s how loyal and determined he was, his personality looking so different from what Jaehyun has found among the usual aristocracy.

“I think we should start moving”, Yuta suggests after a while, his expression looking much more relaxed than during the feast. “This tunnel ends somewhere near the prison dungeon. If we can get past the guards, we’ll use the rear exit and leave the castle.”

“And what will we do next?”

“I… I don’t know. We’ve never made it this far.”

Jaehyun’s face softens up. He can feel the longing note in Yuta’s voice. It’s like hope interspersed with despair because, on the one hand, he wants to believe they’re safe, and on the other – nothing is certain yet. The screams above them will have no end until they find the escaped prince. If only Yuta could form his words properly, he would admit that he’s terrified. But there’s no time for it right now.

Their steps are careful as they slowly set their feet on the ground. Yuta secures them with a magic barrier due to some rocks constantly falling off the ceiling, tremors triggered by the battle taking over the palace. People are dying in their golden robes, and suddenly, their fortune can’t help them. Yuta remembers that most children found in their chambers got to live on, although their parents usually didn’t have the same kind of luck. The mindless bloodbath which was once a rebellion reaps a bitter harvest, and there’s nothing he can do about it. One individual can’t beat the whole mass, not in the courts, nor the villages. They just never listen.

“Wait, there’s something over there.” Jaehyun stops, pointing at the wall on the left. When he comes closer to its surface, he spots a sentence written in an old dialect representative for the ancient alpine tribes. He had learned it years ago, as his mother claimed it’s their kingdom’s legacy. “ _One has to lose his life in order to survive_. _My fate_ …”

“… _Is in your hands_.”

They stare at each other, thoughts floating towards different conclusions. It’s not an arbitrary sign made by previous generations… Or is it? Could there be more people like them, being gifted with special abilities to somehow manipulate time and space? The more Yuta thinks about it, the more unreal this scene gets. Because just when he is about to save Jaehyun, to run away with him and never return to the castle again, they find these runes.

Butterflies start to flap their wings fiercely. They squirm and spin around, letting go of their balance. The dance they do is not so beautiful anymore. In fact, it resembles more of a panic attempt to rip through his skin and guts. But before he can say anything, Jaehyun speaks up once again.

“Look”, he indicates two imprints right beneath the sentence. “These are palms… With flowers on them. Do you think…?”

„Our marks?”

Yuta doesn’t want to fall too deep in this. He seems to be almost as anxious as his partner is curious after looking at these indications because they surely mean **something** and that _something_ can turn out to be even worse than death. Jumping straight to conclusions may be a little unreasonable, but it’s impossible to prevent. _You can’t expect a man to believe in the existence of the sun after decades of living in that overwhelming darkness._

“And here… There’s one more word written in small print. „Blue- No, no, blood. The correct transcription is _blood_.”

“We must go”, Yuta tries to grab him by the arm, but Jaehyun stops him with one gentle gesture.

“It’s not contingent, and you know it too, love. The flowers look like their shapes must be filled by…”, he pauses, biting on his bottom lip. “I- I don’t know why, there’s this voice inside my head that claims we should do it. Or at least try.”

How ruthless or cruel are the paths of fate? What is the meaning of bringing your precious light back to life if it’s going to disappear just seconds later? Yuta wants to scream, regardless of the strange feeling taking over his thoughts. Camellias make eye contact with him through their miserable orbs, they whisper, they tempt. He would like to beg them for mercy, but it’s forbidden, especially when Jaehyun is so entangled by their truth or – and it’s the worst scenario possible – elaborately plaited lies.

“I’m not saying our intuition is wrong… However, the risk is still huge. I- _We_ can lose everything, my dear.” Yuta isn’t afraid anymore. _He’s gone desperate_. He holds hard onto the prince’s arms, not wanting to let them go, even if destiny has already torn them apart anyway. Jaehyun smiles at him, although there’s nothing happy about his expression.

These starry eyes are going gloomy once again. “I’ll always be with you”, he promises. “We can’t know exactly what will happen. Perhaps we’re capable of saving our words from crumbling? Think of it, after all the times you’ve been brought back from the dead… Only to find your way to my castle.”

“Don’t do this to me. _Please_.”

He tries to kiss this decision off Jaehyun’s face, not aware of their current situation. It’s comforting, the way his prince responds with the same affection, but before Yuta can notice it, the whole picture changes and shutters down into a million small pieces. He doesn’t know where did his companion get a glass shard – it might have as well come from smashed tableware, vases, or general decoration. Independently of its origin, the blade sinks into the mage’s hand, which first gets pinned to the nearest rock wall.

“While looking at the stars on the night sky, remember I’m somewhere among them, will you?”

Butterflies can’t catch their breath anymore.

★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

It’s like waking up from a strange dream when Jaehyun opens his eyes, looking sorts of confused as his husband almost falls off the bed with a panicked scream. The moon is still hanging high above the ground, and most of the palace’s residents had fallen asleep hours ago. Yuta doesn’t suffer from insomnia or usual bad dreams, so it’s rather uncommon to see him like this – with eyes open widely in irrational fear.

“Is everything alright, precious?”, the question drops, breaking the weird silence between them.

“Wha- What?”, Yuta blinks a few times, then gazes out at his right hand. “What happened?”, his eyes are full of tears, and he knows something is not as it should be. He’s crying without a good reason, almost as if something important has been taken out of his head, and he can’t stop himself from shaking in Jaehyun’s arms, his wrist aching so terribly despite the lack of any visible wound.

On the table near them, there’s a yellowed letter, which wasn’t there the day before their wedding.

“ _My dearest,_

_The flowers were right, my fate **was** in your hands. It will take you a moment to remember everything, and some things may stay blurry forever in your mind, but I believe that’s for your own good. I’m not quite sure what’s exactly the impact our actions had on your world – in mine, the rebellion has never begun, and I still have some time to learn from my father’s mistakes. We got the second chance to speak up for our beliefs, love. _

_Right now, I’m sending you off to your universe, hoping that you’ll find yourself in better times. And on behalf of my soul’s many different existences, **thank you**._

_**J.** ”_

**Author's Note:**

> >>> **thanks for reading! ♥** ~~and sorry for the open ending yes i hate it too~~


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